A Letter to Donald Trump from his High School English Teacher

The content of this article is satirical, yet also true

Dear Donald,

I hope you are well. I must say that I was surprised to receive this email from you. I almost missed it - my email filter identified it as junk. I know you are very busy on the golf course these days and it warms my heart that you remembered your old high school English teacher. Honestly, judging by your performance it seemed unlikely you would’ve remembered our class at all.

I’m always willing to help any former student so I looked over your paper as requested. Please find my marked up copy attached.

I apologize if the edits are a tad aggressive; I’ve just got a lot on my mind. My father is employed by the US Postal Service as it’s being sabotaged, and my daughter is entering kindergarten in the middle of a pandemic — both directly caused by our vacuous national leadership.

Sincerely,
Mr. Vashaw

P.S. I understand that you are now reading at a 5th grade level. Congratulations on your improvement! Keep striving.

This content of this article is satirical, except the stuff about my family which is true.

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Austin Vashaw

Austin Vashaw

Film yakker, wisecracker, tact lacker. Contributing Editor at Cinapse. http://letterboxd.com/VforVashaw